Most caregivers are intimately familiar with sacrifice. It’s something they do daily. The problem with caregiver sacrifice is that when you give up everything you need to maintain your own physical and emotional well-being over an extended period of time, your own health begins to fail. 

My friend Julia's long journey of caregiver sacrifice began when her husband was diagnosed with cancer. His doctors gave him twelve to eighteen months to live.

Zack decided to fight cancer. He submitted to a series of treatments that kept him alive, and Julia nursed him through the horrendous side effects. Four years later, she said, “I am done putting my life on hold while I wait for Zack to die. I don’t know how much longer he has, but I know if I don’t start living myself, I will give out before he does.”

To someone who hasn’t spent every minute of every day and every ounce of energy battling against a relentless disease, Julia’s comment may sound harsh, but it was obvious she had reached the end of her rope. I supported her plan to start doing some things for herself.

By returning to an exercise routine and rejoining some of her volunteer organizations, Julia reconnected with friends and found the emotional support she needed to keep going.

When Zack died two years later, she was sad, but she wasn’t alone. She  still had connections to people who cared about her and who were there to provide compassion, comfort, and companionship.

The demands of caregiving can become all-consuming. That’s why it's critically important that you find a way to care for your care receiver without entirely sacrificing your own physical, mental, and emotional well-being. If you can do that, you’ll have more love and energy to give to your care receiver. And when it’s over, like Julia, you will be sad, but you will still have a life worth living. 

Thought for the Day 

"I will do what needs to be done to provide quality care for my care receiver, but I will not stop living my life while I wait for them to die."