November is  National Family Caregivers Month. It is a time when organizations strive to raise awareness of caregiving issues and thank caregivers for their invaluable contributions. 

This annual recognition is lovely, but when you're in the trenches and caring for someone with a chronic condition, you might feel like you are invisible and no one understands what you are going through.  

It had been a while since I’d seen friend Ginny. When I asked, “How’s Mike?” She shrugged and said, “So-so.”

I said, “I’m sorry. I know this is hard for both you and Mike.”

Quite forcefully, she said, “Thank you! Thank you for recognizing that it’s hard for me too! Everybody always says, ‘Poor Mike! Poor Mike!’ No one ever stops to think that this is hard for me too! I never get any recognition or appreciation!”

I suggested she go to my website, CaregiverHelpSupport.com and sign up for a free two-week trial so she could watch our videos about coping with anger, guilt, depression, and grief.

She really surprised me when she said, “Caregiving! Well, I guess I will be a caregiver someday.”

I said, “Oh, Ginny, you’ve been Mike’s caregiver for a long time.”

She teared up and said, “Thank you! You have made my day.”

I assumed Ginny had identified herself as a caregiver years ago. Evidently, friends and family had all recognized the impact MS had on Mike, but no one acknowledged how his increasing disability had impacted her life. From her perspective, everyone seemed to think Mike was the only one affected by the disease, and it made her feel angry and resentful.   

It’s not unusual for most people to focus on the condition and the needs of the care receiver.  It may seem like a small thing, but to someone who is in the trenches of caregiving, a little bit of recognition and appreciation can make a huge difference. 

If you know someone who is caring for a loved one, take a moment today to acknowledge the effort they are making and thank them for keeping things going as their care receiver’s health declines.

Thought for the Day:  

"I will give myself credit for all the kind, generous, and loving things I do for my care receiver. If I know other caregivers, I will tell them that I recognize how hard they work and let them know my heart is with them."